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CODY DRINKS DOLPHIN BLOOD
Mike: So it’s lunch time, and Cody is getting fruit punch. Cody: It’s not fruit punch. Jake: You’re right. It’s menstruation blood. Heather: Really? It’s International Women’s Day! Cody: It’s actually dolphin blood. Mike: Dolphin blood? Cody: Yeah! Alex: Why are you drinking that? Are you a vampire? Emma: PETA is gonna kill you for this... Cody: Well it taste good! Ryan: Can’t you get a disease from drinking blood? Cody: No. Mike: Cody don’t drink it. Cody drinks the blood Everyone: EW!!! Cody: What? Mike: YOU’RE GOING TO GET CANCER AND DIE YOUNG!!! Cody: I don’t care! The next day... Uhh, back when ratchet was a ratchet and a vixen was a vixen And Jam Master Jay was alive I-I, I was mixin' Cookin' coke in the kitchen Back when Rodman was a Piston Mike was losin' to Isiah, but he soon would get his sixth one Gave birth to my verbal imagination Assume a virtue if you have not Or better yet here's a verse from Hamlet "Lord, we know who we are Yet we know not what we may be" So maybe I'm the one or maybe I'm crazy I'm from Marcy Houses, where the boys die by the thousand Back when Pam was on Martin Yeah, that's where it all started When Denzel was blottin' carpet, I'll pack a… nine millimeter When Slick Rick made "Mona Lisa" When Lisa Bonet was Beyoncé of her day, I had divas, y'all Think I just popped up in this bitch like a fetus? Nah Pregnant pause, give you some second thoughts There's room on the bandwagon, don't abort Marcy me Marcy me Streets is my artery, the vein of my existence I'm the Gotham City heartbeat I, started in lobbies, now parley with Saudis I'ma, Sufi to goofies, I could prolly speak Farsi That's poetry, reek of coca leaf in my past Came through the bushes smellin' like roses I need a trophy just for that Old Brooklyn, not this new shit, shit feel like a spoof Fat laces in your shoe, I'm talkin' bustin' off the roof, uh Hold a Uzi vertical, let the thing smoke Y'all flirtin' with death, I be winkin' through the scope Shout out to all the murderers turned murals Plural, fuck the Federal Bureau Shout out to Nostrand Ave., Flushing Ave., Myrtle All the County of Kings, may your ground stay fertile Shout out to Big Poppa, Daddy Kane, heroes Thus concludin' my concerto Marcy me Cody: Wow! That was fire! JAY-Z: Thanks! Beyoncé: But why did you called us here? Cody: To try out a new product called dolphin blood. Beyoncé: I’m out! JAY-Z: We can’t leave yet! Beyoncé: I’m not drinking blood! It’s nasty! JAY-Z: How do you know it’s nasty if you haven’t tried it? Beyoncé: Well, I guess a sip won’t be so bad. JAY-Z and Beyoncé drink the blood JAY-Z: Oh my... Beyoncé: That has got to be... Both: THE BEST DRINK EVER!!! Cody: You like it? JAY-Z: Yeah! Beyoncé: We’re gonna help you make a killing with this! Cody: Thank you so much! Soon, Dolphin Blood becomes a hit in the world, and Cody is now a billionaire Cody: GET REKT!!! Mike: We don’t care if the world likes it! It’s still garbage! Heather: What happened to the time when drinks were actually good? Cody: Get them out of here! Security escorts the family out Cody: Now get me on the phone with JAY-Z! I’m thinking about making wolf blood. Category:Fanfic